“Always Friendly, never Friends...”

Have you ever heard “Stories from The Dark Side” of business?

>> Employees who stole from the business.

>> Employees who “got away” with behaviors other people couldn’t.

>> Employees who constantly “skated” behind the owners (or leaders) back.

(And NO, I’m not making the case to avoid having employees.)

I have coached businesses that unfortunately needed to “recover” from the aftermath of those stories.

Much of the time, the challenges happen when TRUST is ABUSED by the employee...and/or inappropriately GIVEN by the Owner / Leader.

And that is most likely to happen when people who work in our organizations are “our friends”.

We’re ALL subject to the temptation. Given enough time and experiences working with a person, ANYONE will come to trust them.

And most of the time, for most people, that’s OK. As human beings, we’re wired to be in connection with other people...to be friends with those closest to us, to “have each other’s backs”.

It’s just that it’s not OK for Owners and Leaders. 

From my early training as a Navy Junior Officer...”There may come a time when you will have to give a necessary order that could result in someone’s injury or death...being ‘friends’ will get in the way of doing that appropriately and fairly”.

Yes, your organization may not be in a business that's potentially hazardous, but the principle holds true. It’s because Owners and Leaders will be called on to make tough decisions, decisions that will be inappropriately influenced by friendship.

Being an Owner or Leader demands a consciousness around Accountability to, and Responsibility for, the organization. Being in Denial of issues is not acceptable.

What’s the answer if you’re a human being, wired to be in connection with people, needing friendships, but also an Owner / Leader?

Ever hear, or read, that we should live balanced lives...to not be workaholics, always focused on our business, job, position, career?

The reason that it’s important to at least engage in Dynamic Balance in our lives and business is because that creates the space, and time, for us to have our friendships.

Friendships with people WHO DO NOT WORK IN OUR ORGANIZATION.

Otherwise, it truly is “Lonely at the Top”...

It IS important as Owners / Leaders to be FRIENDLY with everyone. That’s the “grease” that keeps relationships smooth, the “wheels of commerce” turning. Owners and Leaders who aren’t able to find a way to project that have a much tougher time achieving the results that matter to their organization.

As our organizations grow, we become ever more dependent on our people, and not our own knowledge, skills, and talents. Communication works better when “we all get along”.

Always Friendly, Never Friends...